The Dichotomy of Love
by sweetgingerbreadgirltwirl
Summary: He loved me. I know that he loved me, but not matter how the perfect the moment or how pure the love was between us he still loved her too.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I moaned as I settled down upon his thick cock. I loved this part. I loved how stretched I felt as I took him all the way in. I loved how deep he felt. Loved how full he made me. I loved the ache of pain as my body swallowed him whole inside of me. This was my heaven. This was what I dreamed of. This was want I longed for.

"Oh, baby, your pussy is so perfect," he moaned softly, trying to keep it down, but I didn't want him to. I wanted to hear it. I wanted to hear him sing my praises. I wanted to hear him call out to god as my cunt hugged him tight.

"Let it out baby. Let me hear you," I whispered to him as I skimmed wet kisses along his stubble covered jaw.

"You feel so fucking good," he moaned as I slowly raised up, feeling the pull and emptiness that always came when he left my body until barely the head of his cock was still inside me before I slammed back down on his dick hard causing us both to groan happily.

I slowly found our rhythm. It was the rhythm that we had used while lovemaking for the last year. It was a frantic rhythm because we were on borrowed time. It was a bittersweet rhythm because it felt too good for it to be as wrong as what it was.

His hand held on to my hips, helping me ride his cock while pushing me back so his dick would hit that sweet spot inside of me that made me cum with a gush on top of him. I cried and moaned his name as his cock hammered inside of me relentlessly until I came for him while he urged me on with whispers of Yes that's it baby and show me how much love my cock, baby, but even then he didn't stop. He never stopped and I didn't want him to. I wanted to feel his cock inside of me working me hard. I wanted to take him so deep that it hurt me tomorrow since it was going to hurt any way. I wanted to feel him inside of me since it would be days before I would feel him again.

I looked at him and when I did I could see he was watching us. His eyes were focused on my pussy as it stretched around his cock while he pumped in and out of me. I watched him, marveling over his beauty like I always did. His long lashes, his cheek bones, his solid jaw. I watched his green eyes that were so dark with lust and want that they looked black even under the florescent lights of our study room in the basement of the library. His brown red hair wild and standing on end from my hands. He was gorgeous, but never believed me when I told him this. He was too humble, but I didn't mind. It made him more fuckable knowing that he wasn't your typical pretty boy asshole who just expected to get laid.

"You feel so good inside of me, baby," I whispered to him causing him to look from my cunt to my eyes with a smile before gripping my hips tighter as he drove himself deeper causing me to gasp from how deep he was.

"So good, so good," he whispered as his thrust harder, faster, telling me that he was going to cum.

"I'm going to cum, baby," he moaned in a tone that always made me smile since it almost sounded panicked. I wanted to believe that he was panicked that our perfect moment was coming to an end even though he would fuck me several more times before we parted ways that night.

"Cum in me," I whispered to him as he closed his eyes and gritted his teeth as his my words almost made him lose it. I loved having that power over him.

"Cum in me. I need it. I want it. I want to feel it," I moaned as I bounced on him harder while my words and his dick pushed me closer toward fulfillment when suddenly his fingers slipped between us. I revealed in the wet sounds we were making as I arched almost helpless against him while his fingers rubbed my clit in time to his frantic thrusting until he let out a low gurgling moan as he came with a shudder inside of me. He continued pumping inside of me spurting his cum deep with each snap of his narrow hips while he groaned over the pleasure and pain of such a release. Just the sensation of his release mixed with his fingers caused the burning in my belly rage out of control as I came with a moan of his name.

"That's it baby. So fucking good," he whispered as he rubbed my clit slowly while his dick was still firmly lodged deep inside of me. I felt his lips move along my neck lazily as he kissed me until he finally reached my lips. His kiss was sweet enough to make me want to cry as he held me to him in a soft lovers embrace while he whispered every sweet word he could think of. He thought I was beautiful. He loved my heart. He loved being inside of me. He dreamed of me. He would want me forever. It was all those sweet words that would pull me through until we could be together again. It was a perfect moment like this that I always made me forget the he belonged to someone else.

**AN:**

**Thank you for reading and for giving my story a chance. I hope you enjoy it. I do plan on updating each day until it's complete.**

**Xoxo**

**Sweetgingerbreadgirltwirl**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I watched him dress. This was the worst part of the night. The part of the night that I dreaded. The part of the night where he would make his promises and I would believe him.

"Don't look at me like that, baby," he whispered in a guilt laced tone that made my heart ache as I watched him slip back on the boxers I had bought him for Christmas. Did she wonder where he got them or did she just assume he bought them to wear for her?

I watched as he pulled his jeans up slowly and smiled as I noticed the love bite on his inner thigh. I wanted her to see it. I wanted her to know that I had been with him, that I loved him too. I wanted her to know that my mouth had been on him, that he had been inside of me, and that she wasn't the only one whom he touched.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to him as I slipped on my panties. My movements intensified the scent of sex in the room as the scent of his cum lingered around me. I loved that smell. I loved the smell of our sex and of his cum inside of me. I was comforting and degrading all at once.

"If this is too much, then we should stop," he said remorsefully to me as he noticed the tears that were starting to fall from my eyes.

"No, it's not too much. It's not too much," I whispered as I looked at him shaking my head no.

"I don't want to lose you and if this… if this is how I get you then this will be enough," I said as more tears fell from my eyes while trying to convince him that I was strong enough to not only love him, but to be the one he loved as well.

"Oh, baby, you know I wish it was it was different. I wish I had known. I wish I could change it," Edward whispered to me as he pulled me into his arm to hold me. He was bare chest and I was nude outside of my panties. The feeling of his skin against mine soothed me.

"I'm strong enough, Edward. I'm strong enough for your love," I whispered to him as he pressed soft kisses along my jaw before capturing my lips with his in a soft kiss. He was careful now since he knew I would be sore. I was always sore after nights apart since those nights apart only seemed to make our desperation for each other worse.

"I know you are, baby. I know you are," he whispered with soft kisses while holding me close. We stood kissing and comforting each other until there was no more time left. We dressed in a hurried fashion and then walked out of our little sanctuary and into the main library as if we hadn't spent the last four hours trapped together making love and giggling like lovers while everyone else thought we were studying for exams.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Sweetgingerbreadgirltwirl**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I left the library alone knowing that he had left before me. He was in a hurry to get home to her. She was making him dinner. His favorite dinner no less or so he told me with a grin that made me sick since I could tell he was excited to be there with her. It made no sense to me that he could be with me, he could fuck me, and he could love me and then go be with her as if our time together was nothing. I always wanted to know if it was that my time with him was nothing, but I was always too scared to ask since the truth would hurt more than the lie I was so willing to believe.

I had known Edward Cullen for as long as I could remember and loved him for even longer. We came from the same small town. Our families were friends. We liked the same things and both studied history with a passion that rivaled no other. He was smart and funny. He was beautiful and kind. He was perfect and he belonged to another because I failed to take him seriously years ago when he told me he loved me.

I had failed because I didn't believe him when he said he wanted forever with me. To me, we were too young. We were too busy. We both had too bright of a future in front of us so the idea of committing to a boy at the age of eighteen like he had wanted seemed unreal to me. How could I commit to him when I had no idea who else was out there? How could I say that our love was forever like he claimed when I had barely lived? It was these thoughts that drove us apart and placed me on the other side of the country for college. I ended it with him with the promise to be friends. I just had no idea how hard it would be to just be his friend.

**AN:**

**Thank you for taking your time to read. Sorry I haven't updated recently, however I was quite sick there with a late season flu that put me out of commission for a while.**

**Xoxo**

**Sweetgingerbreadgirltwirl**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer; I do not own Twilight. I do, however own a beat laptop that has quickly become my best friend.

I walked into my empty apartment and was greeted by silence. It was like this night after night and I hated it. I hated I because it dint need to be this way. It didn't need to so quiet and I didn't need to be so alone, yet I was. I knew it was fault too. I knew all of this was my fault, yet I couldn't regret it since fate had brought me back to him.

When I walked away from Edward after our high school graduation we had made a promise to each other. It was one of those silly promises made in the back seat of his car at three in morning as we clung to each other naked and sticking to his car seats. It was a promise that if fate brought back together then we would know that we were meant to be. It was a promise that he made me swear to as he kissed along my jaw while his fingers worked inside of me, pushing me towards another orgasm while he waited to recover from making love to me. At the time I had agreed whole heartedly. I agreed to leave it up to fate to find us together again even though I would have agreed to anything while his fingers worked me like that.

The next morning I left him with a kiss and that promise that seemed so meaningless as I began my new life in a different state far away from Edward, our families and everything else that I had loved. It took four years and one tragedy to bring back to Seattle to bury my mother. At the funeral Edward's parents came to show their support, but no Edward. He was missing and I didn't even know it. I hadn't realized he wasn't there until a few weeks later when Iran into him at a study group I had joined. His green eyes met mine with shock and I smiled since I knew, I just knew fate had brought us back together once more.

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Sweet Ginger Bread Girl Twirl**


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